A Digression (Or really, look over there...)

I posted on my almost-a-complete-waste-of-time poetry blog.

Give it a look see, if you want.

Oh, and I've posted on my book blog, too. (In case you can't get enough of me...)

Question: What’s big, and heavy, and rectangle inside and out?

Answer: A box of books!

So, I belong to a book society/group that sends me monthly catalogs of books I've never heard of. Most of the time, I don’t order anything. (I already have stacks of books to read, after all.)

But about a month or so ago, they sent me an email saying that if I send them $50, they’ll send me a surprise box of books.

Now, how could I pass that up!

What I expected to get was a bunch of junk—stuff I would NEVER read or purchase on my own. But, I’m a sucker for the element of surprise. So, I sent them my money, and then promptly forgot about the whole thing.

Until one magical day, when I walked up the stairs, and saw my front door. There, resting as a possible safety hazard, was a beautiful cardboard box with my name on it!

And inside, I found joy in the form of seven blessed books!

They weren’t crap!

I’d actually read them!

Yay!

In case you can’t read all the titles, here they are:

The Traditional Shops and Restaurants of London (Now I’m ready for my trip to this great city! Who’s with me?)

Elements of the Table (Throwing a fancy party and want to know how to wow your guests? Well, this is the book for that. You know I’m going to use this for my next event!)

Reading Like a Writer (You all know how my favorite books to read are books on how to read! This is perfect!)

Drives Like a Dream (This is a novel I’d never heard of, but since I’ve started to write another book, (Did I tell you guys that?), I’m reading as many books as I can to “study the craft.”)

Gatsby’s Girl (Another novel for craft studying! This one looks pretty interesting…)

Cakes and Ale (I’ve never read anything by W. Somerset Maugham, but have always wanted to.)

And last, but not least,

101 Best Scenes Ever Written (Could this be more perfect for me right now?)


I wish every day I could come home and find a box on my doormat filled with surprises.

Don’t you?

What a way to live!

How I spent yesterday on the job… (Of course, I’m leaving out the majority of my “work”, so as not to bore my reader(s).)

- Stared out the crack of a window I have in my cubicle, wondering how I ended up here.

- Sat with Trainee as we went over a report that should have taken us 30 minutes but instead took us two and a half hours…and we’re still not done…guess how I’m spending today…sigh…

- Googled (That’s a verb now, right?) different words for “psychic.” Why, you ask? Can’t tell you. At least not yet. Possibly never. So, don’t hold your breath.

- Met with a guarantor rep. who tried to sell me on their financial literacy program. And yes, it was as exciting as it sounds.

- Realized that I’ve developed an annoying habit of spelling out words while adding “to the” in the middle of them. For example, here’s a sentence I actually said “Man, I really H to the A T E that song.” Heaven help me! (If I do this while talking to you, first, forgive me. Second, tell me to knock it off.)

- Stared out the crack of a window I have in my cubicle, wondering how I ended up here, and noticed that they added another unit in my air-conditioning garden.

- Walked to the university’s library to get 4 of the 23 books I’ve requested on freelancing while talking to Rachel on the phone. (I mean I was on the phone while walking to the library, and not that I have some weird need to freelance only while talking to Rachel—although that probably would be helpful since she’s hilarious.)

- Spent the majority of my lunch hour continuing my psychic research. Man, there’s a lot of stuff out there! And I do not recommend doing such research while at work because a) you can be taken to some questionable websites, b) if a co-worker happens to peek into your cubie, you have some explaining to do, and c) it’s so fascinating that you might spend your entire lunch hour on it and then feel sad that you didn’t go outside to escape the gray box of your work environment.

- Talked with my co-workers about food storage, and then tried to convince them that Mormons aren’t a bunch of kooks with ready-to-use bomb shelters for when it’s “the end of days”.

- Got roped into joining an office potluck. (Even though it broke the most sacred vow made on the head of my first born to never participate in voluntary potlucks. (Mandatory potlucks are another story.))

- Listened to the song “Love Will Keep Us Together” by Captain and Tennille about 10 times trying to figure out some words, only to realize I could have googled (verb) the lyrics in 10 seconds and satisfied my curiosity.

- Stared out the crack of a window I have in my cubicle, watching water drip from one of the units, while wondering how I ended up here.

Well, that was a bit of my yesterday. I'll spare you from what I did when I got home--part of which I'm ashamed of. (Let's just say it has something to do with a woman named Tori, and a man named Dean, breaking my other cardinal rule of never watching reality tv based on the lives of the semi-famous.)

Don’t you all wish you could trade lives with me?

Please?

Someone?

F.Y.I.

I’ve been reading up a storm lately.

In fact, at one point last week, I had 5 books that I was reading at the same time. (Well, not at the EXACT same time, but you know what I mean, concurrently.)

And because I’ve been so engaged, I’ve had a lot on my mind.

To release what’s in my head so it doesn’t explode, I’ve decided that this week (and maybe the next), I’m going to bow out of my regular blog and focus on my book reading blog.

I know. Some of you are crushed. What will you do without all my witty repartee about my daily goings-on? (Cue sarcasm.)

Anyway, if you’re interested in the book thing, go here.

If not, then check back later next week. I’ll probably have something of remote interest to pass along to you by then. (Darn my boring life!)

Friday Foreshadowing Fluff

Things to update you on (with a hint of foreshadowing future posts):

1. After a two week break (due to week-long trip and subsequent injury), I’ve finally caught up on reading all your posts. I might not have commented (because I’ve had to stealthily read them due to my new office location/little box that’s slowly killing my soul). But, I’ve read yours (yes, you) and I loved it!

2. Business trip went well, until I was returning home on Friday and hurt my back so badly that by Sunday night I was ready to write a letter to my next of kin distributing my worldly possessions, and then silently smother myself with my jumbo heating pad. But, don’t worry, I’m feeling better, and will soon regale you with stories of my adventure, like the 400 high school football players sharing my dorm, or the middle-aged baseball players who were there for some kind of knock-off fantasy camp, or my experience with the elderly at the planetarium. I know you can hardly wait!

3. I’ve decided to go to grad school. I’m sad about the whole thing, really. Practical Liz is so controlling. “You have to plan for the future! You’re no spring chicken! How are you going to retire without becoming a burden on society? It’s impossible to be independently wealthy without any wealth!” Poor fanciful, dreaming Liz! She didn’t stand a chance!

4. Thanks to those of you who came to my Grey Gardens party. I wouldn’t have been able to survive it without you! Truthfully, until watching it with you all, I had no idea it could be funny. I only thought it was horrifyingly tragic and hopeless. But, way to liven it up! Yay for funny friends! (Oh, and for those of you who couldn’t make it, don’t worry, I’m going to have another randomly themed party in the next few months. I’ll keep you posted. )

Well, that’s all folks!

And, Now, the Moment You’ve All Been Waiting For (Drum roll please…)

It’s the end of spring!

And I thought we should celebrate with a garden party!

A “Grey Gardens” party…

Yes, we’re going to watch a movie that has “garden” in the title, but has nothing to do with springtime or happiness!!

Come sit* with me as I attempt (for the 3^rd time) to watch the most disturbing documentary I’ve ever partially seen.

Is there nudity? No.

Is there violence? No.

Is there a reclusive old lady, and her middle-aged daughter living in a crumbly mansion talking about the good ole days while wearing strange outfits and dancing around? You bet!

When: June, Friday the 13^th (eek!)@ 7pm

Where: Liz’s Apt. #131

What to bring: Yourself (If I know you, you’re invited!)

What to wear: Clothing that fits the theme. (So, something gray, garden-ish, or decrepit. It’s up to you!)

I hope to see you there!

*Warning: If tons of people show up (i.e. more than 5) you’ll probably have to sit on the floor…

(RSVP in the comments because I’m serious about the chair shortage.)

(P.S. Because of my "fantastic" business trip, I'll probably be MIA all next week. But don't worry, the party will still happen!)

Pre-Reveal Announcement

So, it’s occurred to me that I might be the only one who will find my surprise party worth the surprise factor. (I mean even my sisters, who have been roped in to helping, were a little nonplussed.)

It’s quirky. I'll admit that. Definitely not your typical party-type event.

And some of you, once you hear what it is, might change your mind on attending.

Oh well, what can I do now? Cancel?

No, I’m too excited! (Even if no one else will be.)

So, I guess I should warn you that it’s a weird idea*. And that I won’t be offended if you decide not to come…

With that, I thought I’d help you put the two previous hints together to see if you can figure it out.

The first hint was a dried-up flower. Now, where would you expect to find a dried up flower? Maybe in someone’s uncared for yard?

The second hint was a head scarf from the 70’s. Now, who might be from the 70’s who wears a head scarf and has the problem from hint #1?

Hmm…

Oh, the intrigue!

You only have two more days before all will be revealed!!!

(*But, really, what did you expect from me?)