Friday, February 20, 2009

The Universe has my email address!

So*, every day I receive a message from the Universe.

No, I’m not talking about seeing words in puddles, hearing voices in the breeze, or anything else like that. And I’m not talking about receiving emails from Mr. Universe.

I’m talking about receiving daily emails from THE UNIVERSE.

Somehow, somewhere, I signed up on some site that sends me these emails.

Some of them I don’t agree with (theologically speaking).

Some of them I whole-heartedly advocate.

And some of them really make me stop and think about what I’ve been taught to believe, how I interpret what I’ve been taught to believe, what I actually believe, and all the in-between things that I have no definitive belief on or in. (Does any of that make sense?)

And since they give me pause, I thought I’d occasionally share one with you—to get you thinking and reflecting (or bored and leaving my blog, never to return—please come back!).

With that, here’s the first message I want to discuss (and I’m paraphrasing here):

You don’t need to worry. There is time for everything. You were before time, and you will exist after time. You have forever. There’s no dream you have now that you can’t achieve. There’s no challenge you now face that you won’t overcome. Therefore, there is no need to worry. Ever.

What do you think? Do you agree? Yes? No? Sort of?

Worry is a BIG thing for me. HUGE! I worry all the time about things that are absolutely ridiculous. And so I’ve been thinking about this message, and trying to figure out how to interpret it on a day to day basis.

You see, I agree with the statement. I DO believe I lived before this life and I will live after it. So, time really shouldn’t hold be back because I’m not trapped in it. But, I find myself stuck in worry. I’m not “in the moment” as they say. I’m always thinking about what if this happens, or what if that falls apart.

Do you have this same problem? Maybe it’s just me.

To combat this, I’ve been trying a new mantra: I don’t have to worry NOW.

And since it’s always “now,” I should never worry.

So far, it’s not working that well. But I’m trying.

Another thing this statement made me ponder on is time.

I often find myself saying “You too old to do that, Liz.” “It’s too late.” Etc.

And there are things in life that I’ve already made up my mind that I can’t do because I’m not in my 20’s anymore.

But, as with worry, maybe I’m wrong about that too.


Boy, I have a lot to learn, and a lot of hang ups I need to let go of.

*I’ve just realized that I start a lot of posts with “So.” I think because it sounds conversational. You know, like it’s just you and me, shootin’ the breeze and hangin’ out in my apartment. Very casual-like.

Thursday, February 12, 2009


So, I work at a university.

And for the most part I love it (except for all the students).

But, every so often, I have a conversation with a student that makes dealing with the other 22 gazillion unhappy ones worth it.

Yesterday, one such tête-à-tête took place.

ME: Hi, how can I help you?

STUDENT: I’m here to turn in this paperwork.

ME: Okay.

STUDENT: I wasn’t sure…[His phone starts ringing, and so he looks at it.] Oh, I have to take this. [Then he turns slightly to the side, (so as to not be looking directly at me), and answers the phone.]

STUDENT: Hello? Grandpa? Is that you? [He’s then silent while he’s listening for about a minute.] Grandpa? It’s me! STEVEN! No. No. STEVEN! No, Grandpa. I’m at school. SCHOOL! No, SCHOOOOOLLLL!!!!

ME: If you could just step to the side of the counter. [He doesn’t appear to hear me.] Sir, if you could just...[He holds up a finger. No, not that one. The index finger which is the universal sign for "Just a second."]

STUDENT: No, Grandpa. Don’t do that! NO GRANDPA!!! DON’T DO THAT!!! I’m not there. I’M NOT THERE!!! I’M AT SCHOOL!! NO, SCHOOOLLL!!!! Grandpa! GRANDPA!!! Put that down. No, DOWN!!! No, this is STEVEN! STEEEVVVEEENNN!!!!!

ME: [Trying not to laugh at what is cleary a family problem.]

STUDENT: Grandpa? GRANDPA? My mom should be there any minute, so just wait! MY MOM! No, DOROTHY! DOORROOTHYYYY!!! Grandpa? Don’t do that! DON’T DO THAT!!! JUST WAIT!!!!

[SILENCE for about 15 seconds.]

STUDENT: Grandpa? Is she there? Dorothy. Yes. Your daughter. Okay. Bye, Grandpa.

[The student now turns back to me.]

STUDENT: That was my grandpa.

ME: Oh, really?

People are funny.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

I Am a Childless Child of God…

So, I’ve been thinking of my spinster-ly status lately.

I think because I just had my 34th birthday and I’ve been feeling my age these last couple of days. (Most of the time, I don’t feel my age. I feel about 25.)

And I’ve been thinking about where I thought I would be at 34 and what I thought I’d be doing. (Don’t we all do this to some extent?)

And as you can imagine, I didn’t think I’d be doing the single and childless thing.

No, I thought by 34 I’d be almost done having kids. At the very least, I thought I’d be in the middle of having kids. I certainly didn’t think the closest I’d be to having kids was standing next to someone else’s!

For the most part, this hasn’t bothered me. I’ve loved continuing my education, exploring my artistic side, writing, traveling, deeply studying the gospel, and a host of other activities that I’ve done to create a fulfilling life.

I’ve had opportunities to serve, to love, to laugh, and, thanks to my nephews, to mother.

And I’ve rarely felt bummed at church.

I read a statement in a book by Sister Oaks that perfectly sums up my feelings. It was something like “I signed up for the WHOLE gospel, not the singles’ edition.” So lessons on families, marriage, or any other similar topic don’t offend me or make me sad. I know the church is true—even if at this time, it’s not all “true” for me.

But, there are times when I think of my younger self and all the plans I had of being a wonderful mother, and an awesome (and I do mean awesome) wife. And these times are hard.

And tears are shed.

And “Why not me?” is asked.

And the only thing that comforts me is the spirit whispering that my life is just as valid as the next; that I’m on the Lord’s errand, and that He’s proud of me.

This past Sunday was one of those hard times.

I was teaching my Beehives a lesson on their Divine role as women. I asked them what they thought that role was.

And how do you think they responded?

“To be a wife and mother.” Yep.

And then I asked, “Is that the divine role of all women?”

“Yes,” they answered.

And I followed that with “What about me? I'm not married, and I don’t have children. Does that mean I’m not fulfilling my divine role?”


Yep, this Sunday was a tough one.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Go See My Other Blog Children...

Yep, I've posted on my "creativity" blog and my book blog.

So, go check it out!