Friday, January 30, 2009

A Simple Question…

So, do any of you want to join me in cashing in your 401k (while there’s still something in it) and buying a little cottage in a small town (located 30 miles outside a big city—with museums and other cultural-type stuff) where we would spend our mornings in the garden, afternoons selling our “wares” in a cute shop, and our evenings enjoying the sunset while we write or paint or sew or strum the guitar?


Anyone?



I’ll do it if you do it with me…






And yes, it’s been one of those weeks.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Book Begging

In the last 5 weeks, I’ve read 11 books.

For some of you, that may be a lot—for others, a regular occurrence.

For me, I always seem to live in either a state of drought or downpour.

And recently I’ve been putting on my galoshes* and dancing in the rain!

And while I’ve been reading a mix of genres, (political, historical, religious, and memoirs), what I’ve been loving is all the fiction!

It’s been a long time since I’ve lost myself in someone’s made up world and I’ve missed it. (I’ve even found myself liking books I normally wouldn’t.)

But, I’m running out of book recommendations.

So, I’m sending out a public plea to all who stumble upon my blog (whether I know you or not):

What books have changed your life? Altered your reality? What books do you turn to when everyday life is too much? When you need to escape? What classics do you love? What new authors are you raving about?

In essence, what are your favorite books?

Whether you have one or 100, I want to know about them. So please, pretty please, leave me a comment! (Or shoot me an email if that suits you better.)

I need more to read! So I’m begging you for book suggestions…



*I’ve never actually owned a pair of galoshes, but it’s always been a dream of mine. “Galoshes” is one of my favorite words…

Friday, January 23, 2009

Not Your Average Birthday Gang…

So, last Saturday my super terrific friends threw me a birthday party--The Liz Jubilee! (Thanks Rachel and Katie!!)

And it was not your run-of-the-mill party with balloons and cake.

Nope! It was a Beatnik Poetry Slam party!!

That’s right. All the attendees had to present an original poem, read in front of the whole group with a spotlight in their face and bongos punctuating their words. (And in my case, beret on my head.)

Needless to say, it was awesome!!!! (I’d post some pictures, but I, of course, didn’t have my camera. (So, Rachel and Laura, when you get a chance, could you send me some?))

I laughed. I cried. I felt loved and appreciated—exactly what you want on your birthday, right?

And to join in the fun, I wrote a poem to share with the group. The subject of my poem was all the fantastic tidbits of knowledge I’ve collected over these years. You know, the stuff that’s made me really, really smart, and all.

I was asked to post it, so here it is: (Oh, and all the bolded words were sung. Yes, sung. So, sing along—I know you know the tune…)

The Brainless Barrage*
By Liz Wolfe, 2009

I need
some punky power
this hour.
This 3 hour tour with my skipper
and Flipper has morphed
into a
Schlemiel, Schlimazel and
I’m
puzzled.
How many Happy Days, ayyyyyy
have slipped away
as I have filled my mind
with what, what I
could find?
So, let me
rewind, Rerun,
And say, Here’s the story of
a lovely lady
,
sailing on the Love Boat
waiting for the Mork
to her Mindy.
Let me just wiggle my nose
and magically expose
my own A-team
for hire, and it’s dire.
Cause I care about
who Joanie loves,
And those on 21 Jump Street.
So, gimme a break,
I’ve learned if you take the good
and take the bad,
what you have
is a mixed bag
where everybody knows your
name,
and so
I ask where’s my invisible
plane?
And are you sure a paper
clip, rubber band, and a match
can get us out of here?
Here where eight is enough
and de plane, de plane
can take us out of the land
of the lost,
where we’re
saved by the bell, but
barely.
You say
“Bad news, bears!
It’s a small wonder
you’ve got anything else in
that head of yours.”
And I say what chu talkin’
about, Willis?
Who’s the Boss?
Me!
Let me have my
wonder years,
and dance of joy,
joy that helped me
through my
growing pains of
a full house.
Believe it or not,
I’m walkin’ on air
was not
my theme song
of youth.
Truth?
More like
I prayed for my
highway to heaven
and took it one day
at a time.
So I don’t need
you to worry for
me cause I’m all right.
And like Charles, I’m
in charge, and
in a half hour, all wrongs
will be righted.
You say, “Pleeease,
turn off the TV, and be.”
To that,
I say
kiss my grits!
It’s too late…


*I referenced 36 different TV shows in my poem. Can you find them all?

Thursday, January 22, 2009

3 Things I learned from my Office Retreat…

1. It should not be called a “retreat” (no matter what management says) because that implies a fun, non-work related experience. It should have been called “Six-Hour-Meeting-Where-You-Fantasize-About-Plunging-a-Pen-in-your-Eye.”

2. Some people have no idea how to “keep comments under 2 minutes” or “keep comments on topic” or “keep comments from being the stupidest things ever said” or “keep comments from making people want to plunge a pen in their eye”.

3. Never volunteer to be in charge of an office “retreat”. It’s never a good idea. Never, ever, ever!!!!*



*I don't know what I was thinking when I volunteered. I blame it on a high fructose corn syrup delusion...

Friday, January 9, 2009

To Blog or Not To Blog (I’m pretending that I’m the first clever person to come up with this title…)

So, I’ve not been blogging.

If you’ve noticed my absence, thank you! You’re a nice person and I will give you a gold star when I see you. (I really do have some in my purse, so just ask. (And if you’re wondering why I have some in my purse, it’s the same reason I have pompoms in my car: If you prepare for gold star/pompom experiences, they come your way!! (At least, in theory.)))

Why haven’t I been blogging you ask?

Well, there are a million reasons why, but it boils down to one thing: I’ve had nothing to say. (At least not anything that I would be willing to sit down and write about.)

So, I decided to take a little break to gather (or get) some thoughts, and then come back with a bang in the New Year.

Also, I’ve opted not to do a year in review, because I’ve read all of yours, and you make my year look like I’m trapped in my own incredibly less funny and picturesque version of Groundhog Day.

I’ll give you a Six-word Memoir of it, though:

Dreams attempted, successes and failures resulted.*

But enough about 2008, let’s look on to 2009!

I hope you all have something you want to accomplish this coming year.

Something that you’ve never done before!

Something that you’ll talk about for years to come!!

Something that will change your life!!!

(And if you DO have something, could you tell me about it? Not that I’d copy your idea or anything. Of course I wouldn’t do that! Well, unless it was a really fantastic idea…I mean, it’s a free country...so if it’s something I want to do, I’ll do it…you can’t stop me…unless, of course, you don’t tell me about it…but I really want you to…because I don’t have any ideas…so, disregard what I’ve said…I won’t copy you… I pinky-swear promise…well…maybe…)



*What would be your Six-word Memoir of 2008?