Wednesday, January 23, 2008

100 Reasons that I’m happy I’m single-- #64

To stick with my New Year’s Resolution to be more positive, I’ve decided to post reasons to be happy that I’m single.

But, I want to add, that I fully recognize that there are just as many reasons to be happy I’m married. However, since this isn’t my reality (marriage, that is), I’m just going to focus on “single” reasons to be happy. (I expect one of my married friends to handle the married reasons.)

I’ve come up with an extreemly long list of things. Some very light-hearted, and some not. This is not one of the light-hearted ones, but I’m going to start with it because it’s come up recently in my own life.

With that, Reason #64:

I’m happy I’m single because I don’t have to deal with my spouse being addicted to p*rn.*

I had a friend come to me with the news that she has just found out that her husband has an addiction to p*rnography. I’ve talked with her about this before, in passing, when we’ve discussed things that are bringing the world down. And I’ve mentioned that p*orn is something that the LDS church is fighting against.

She came to me to vent, but to also ask if I had any information that might help her (and her husband) deal with this. I, of course, immediately started hitting the church website looking for anything that might be helpful. I’ve found tons of talks, and also some links to other sites that deal with this problem.

One site that I came across for Mormon moms had this post.

As I read through all the anonymous comments, it just about broke my heart! Those poor women. Those poor men. What can be done? It makes me so angry that such good men can be brought down by this. And it makes me angry that because of shame and fear of judgment, women (and husbands) must suffer in silence.

I don’t know what I can do for my co-worker, except to be here for her. I told her that her husband wasn’t a horrible man. That many great guys have this problem. And that it’s something they must try to work through together.

I don’t know how I’d handle it, though, if it were me. I don’t think divorce is the answer in every case. But I do think it is in some. Right now, he wants to change, so she wants to help him. And I see that as a good sign.

For now, they are in my prayers. As are all who suffer from this addiction.

And I’m grateful that as a singleton, I don’t have to worry about this.

* Just in case you don’t know, I’m using the little * so my blog isn’t linked to icky sites.


Rachel said...

What a horrible situation to find yourself in. I only made it through about half of those comments because it was just too heart breaking.

Heather said...

Heart breaking indeed--a good something to be very greatful you dont have to deal with...I dont know what I'd do either, probably just break down in tears. I dont think I have the strength in me which would be required to overcome something like that.

Ms. Liz said...

I honestly can't imagine a worse place to be in than in a marriage with that as an issue. I think I might deal with infidelity better (not that I'd wish for that either). Its just new levels of betrayal. I always thought it was one of those way-out-there-with-those-people kind of problems but I know a good bunch of gentleman who have/are struggling. Like right in my immediate circles. Its staggering, and I never would have imagined. I'm with ya - it might be my #4 or 5 reason though.

Amanda said...

So Liz, I missed the previous 63 reasons.
One good reason to be married (there are many, but this one is on my mind most right now.)
When you stay at work late and you have a sick puppy and he has projectile poopies, there is someone that might come home first and not only clean up said poopy, but also give dog a bath. I'm grateful. Although if I wasn't married I wouldn't have a dog. Hmmm..