How I spent yesterday on the job… (Of course, I’m leaving out the majority of my “work”, so as not to bore my reader(s).)

- Stared out the crack of a window I have in my cubicle, wondering how I ended up here.

- Sat with Trainee as we went over a report that should have taken us 30 minutes but instead took us two and a half hours…and we’re still not done…guess how I’m spending today…sigh…

- Googled (That’s a verb now, right?) different words for “psychic.” Why, you ask? Can’t tell you. At least not yet. Possibly never. So, don’t hold your breath.

- Met with a guarantor rep. who tried to sell me on their financial literacy program. And yes, it was as exciting as it sounds.

- Realized that I’ve developed an annoying habit of spelling out words while adding “to the” in the middle of them. For example, here’s a sentence I actually said “Man, I really H to the A T E that song.” Heaven help me! (If I do this while talking to you, first, forgive me. Second, tell me to knock it off.)

- Stared out the crack of a window I have in my cubicle, wondering how I ended up here, and noticed that they added another unit in my air-conditioning garden.

- Walked to the university’s library to get 4 of the 23 books I’ve requested on freelancing while talking to Rachel on the phone. (I mean I was on the phone while walking to the library, and not that I have some weird need to freelance only while talking to Rachel—although that probably would be helpful since she’s hilarious.)

- Spent the majority of my lunch hour continuing my psychic research. Man, there’s a lot of stuff out there! And I do not recommend doing such research while at work because a) you can be taken to some questionable websites, b) if a co-worker happens to peek into your cubie, you have some explaining to do, and c) it’s so fascinating that you might spend your entire lunch hour on it and then feel sad that you didn’t go outside to escape the gray box of your work environment.

- Talked with my co-workers about food storage, and then tried to convince them that Mormons aren’t a bunch of kooks with ready-to-use bomb shelters for when it’s “the end of days”.

- Got roped into joining an office potluck. (Even though it broke the most sacred vow made on the head of my first born to never participate in voluntary potlucks. (Mandatory potlucks are another story.))

- Listened to the song “Love Will Keep Us Together” by Captain and Tennille about 10 times trying to figure out some words, only to realize I could have googled (verb) the lyrics in 10 seconds and satisfied my curiosity.

- Stared out the crack of a window I have in my cubicle, watching water drip from one of the units, while wondering how I ended up here.

Well, that was a bit of my yesterday. I'll spare you from what I did when I got home--part of which I'm ashamed of. (Let's just say it has something to do with a woman named Tori, and a man named Dean, breaking my other cardinal rule of never watching reality tv based on the lives of the semi-famous.)

Don’t you all wish you could trade lives with me?

Please?

Someone?