Monday, May 19, 2008

A Snapshot of My Saturday

You ever have a day when nothing really went wrong, per se, but the things you had to do were somehow complicated by outside forces?

Let me give you an example of what I’m talking about.

On Saturday I had a 40-minute window to do my grocery shopping for the week.

(1st digression: Must I ALWAYS pick the squeaky jerking cart? Really? Every time? I see other people with their carts smoothly sailing through the aisles, while I shake, shudder, and swerve my way through the store like I’m having an epileptic fit.)

I rush through the store, wobbling as I go, and make it to the check out in 25 minutes. (2nd digression: Anyone else hating grocery shopping? Or is it just me?)

I pay for my stuff, and head to my car. I now have ten minutes to drive home, and haul up my groceries before I have to leave.

Now, here’s where a simple task is complicated.

I get to my place, and just as I’ve loaded up my arms with all the bags they can hold (Gina can testify that I load myself up pretty darn good!), and start to make my way to my apartment, a bug flies into my mouth and hits the back of my throat.

Under normal circumstances, a person would use a finger to try to get it out, but I couldn’t actually lift my arms because of the weight of my produce. So, I do the next best thing, I spit.

I spit big time! (Because the bug was way in the back. (Am I over sharing?))

And where did I spit?

You guessed it.

Directly into my groceries!

(Everyone say “gross” with me.)

Once I got into my apartment, I then had to spend an extra 10 minutes I didn’t have, carefully going through each bag because I couldn’t remember which one I spit in to.

The lesson I learned from this: next time, eat the bug. It’s high in protein anyway.


Laura said...

But if you need to find a silver lining...just know that you now have a funny story to share and have made others laugh!

I always get the craziest cart too! It usually rattles and squeaks and can't drive in a straight line. Then I wind up crashing in to other carts, small children, end displays, etc.

And I actually like grocery shopping. Weird, I know.

Rachel said...

I don't like grocer shopping either. I hate spending money on things that won't last.

And gross. But Laura is right, that is a great story to tell. You always have the best. Why can't a bug fly into MY mouth?

Gina said...

First of all, let me just say that typically people, carrying groceries into their houses, load up the bags in the hands. Those little plastic bag handles are so convenient. Liz, however, loads up her arms (literally). She must bring up 20 grocery bags at a time (and up the stairs).

Second, I was totally laughing out loud about the bug. Cracks me up. i was actually thinking about the lizard that came into the house one time. That's a great story!

Anonymous said...

LOL! LOLOL! How wide was your mouth open? Next time carry your keys in them, it will block bugs. Did you say you found the right bag and bug-soiled item?

I hate grocery shopping when I'd rather be doing something else and there's other people on the planet. So I like it sometimes...