Tuesday, October 30, 2007

A Thought on Men and Women

You know, and I know, that there are differences between men and women. Some natural, some cultural. I normally don’t think about it much (despite my feminist leanings). But, I had an interesting conversation while doing my visiting teaching last week that made me pause and reflect.

A little background first (and a little digression).

In regards to visiting teaching, I’m surrounded by young married couples with small children. This includes my V.T. companion as well as the three sisters we visit. I like all of them, and enjoy our monthly get togethers. They are great women, and are doing a wonderful job being wives and mothers.

But, I must admit, I find a lot of their conversation, well, boring.

While my fantastic (and I do mean, fantastic) companion is talking to them about husband-stuff and kid-things, I normally end up playing with their little ones (which I love). I occasionally chime in with some kind of positive head-nod. But, a lot of the time, I just observe the conversation while playing peek-a-boo.

I’m okay with this for the most part. I realize that they’re just in a different stage of life than I am, and that both ways are good and valid. And though I find a lot of what they discuss dull (which I'm sure goes both ways), I see the inherent value of it, and don’t mind listening at all.

In fact, I’ve learned a lot from their conversations. And this last week was no exception.

Now, if you know me, I’m very direct. I can broach any subject, no matter how awkward or painful, and do it in such a way that the person I’m talking to thanks me for telling them the truth. I do this with co-workers, friends, friends of friends, etc.

I can be blunt, but non-offensive. It’s a gift, really (and one that's mentioned in my Patriarchal blessing, by the way). And I had to employ it at my last V. T. assignment.

They were talking about having a girl’s night out (which they do, often) after our visit. And they invited me to join them. They always do. And I declined. I always do.

But this week, instead of just nodding their heads and saying something about my being busy, my partner asked me “why?” and then went on to postulate that it was because I wasn’t married and had no children, and, therefore, wouldn’t feel included.

I was surprised at her frankness. (Normally, I find that my fellow sisters in the gospel are ever so careful about what they say in regards to my spinster-ly childless status (aside from the occasional “Hang in there! Your special someone will come, eventually. Just have faith!”))

************** Stay tuned for Part II**************


Laura said...

How could you leave me hanging like that? Hurry and finish the story!!

Andrea said...

I'm sitting here reading this thinking "Yep, that's how I feel too." I'm anxiously awaiting for Part II!

Ms. Liz said...

Lol - It sounds like every family reunion I've been to - ever.

Rachel said...

I once found myself at a RS dinner at a table with women all my age but all married with children and I ended up moving to a table with older women, mostly because they can talk about things other than their children. I know exactly what you mean. It's not that I don't like talking to them but it seems like when young moms get together that's all they can talk about and it does get pretty boring.

Can't wait to hear the rest.

Heather said...

I'm with Laura--You're leaving us hanging here!!! You started such an amazing blog, and now we have to wait to finish it? ...but I'm glad I'm not the only one who get's bored sometimes..

Hannah said...

I'm here to echo previous sentiments...can't wait to hear what happened.