Monday, November 26, 2007


"When the winds of change blow hard enough, the most trivial of things can become deadly projectiles."

You ever just feel tired of everything?

So tired that you don't even want to think? Can't think? Question if you'll ever think again?

So tired that you don't to do anything? Want to do anything? Can think of anything to do?

So tired that you can't even put your finger on why you're tired? Doesn't everything make you tired? Isn't everyone tired?

Well, that's how I'm feeling lately.

And actually, just attempting to articulate my tiredness-ness has made me realize something: It stems from mental exhaustion, and I really have no reason for it.

I'm not in school.

I can do my job with my eyes closed (and have done so on numerous occasions).

I have enough money.

Super family.

Amazing friends.

And yet...

Really, I think I'm just tired because I feel the winds of change coming my way.

So, I'm trying not to think about all the thinking I'm going to have to do when my life begins to go topsy-tervy, and this forced not thinking about thinking has wiped me out. Does that make any sense?

Put simply: I don't do well with change. I avoid it like the plague.

In fact, I'd rather get the plague then have my world change. Life would be so much simpler (and shorter) if I had the Black Death. Then I'd really have a reason to be tired!

But, alas, that's just wishful thinking.

Speaking of thinking, I'm off to take an avoidance nap...


Laura said...

I know what you mean...happens to me all the time. I'm exhausted when I get home from work and yet I sit at a computer all day. Does mental exhaustion just manifest itself physically? And then, it's just tired of life being the same, but I'm afraid of change too. And yesterday, I pretty much watched TV all day long, and yet, I was pooped! 2 more hours of work and then I need a nap too!

Amanda said...

Boy can I relate. I have been in a constant state of exhaustion. I am not so much avoiding change but the idea of work and winter. Last night I went in and got into bed at like 8:30. I wasn't really tired but I wanted to avoid everything. I didn't even have a book I wanted to read. I just wanted to fall asleep.
I'm not sure if I am going to make it through this winter, but I'll do my best not to sleep away too many days.
So any idea what is ahead for you? I'll be interested to see where I'll be visiting you!

Rachel said...

Hey! I feel the same way too! Maybe it is the Plaque! After consumption, and rickets, the plaque is my next favorite disease. And Amanda, I can totally beat you. Last night I got home from work with a huge headache and major dizziness (I bet it's cancer) so I put my pjs on and crawled into bed. At 5:30!!! And I fell right to sleep. And then I woke up at 8 and watched Dancing with the Stars and then went right back to sleep until 5:30 this morning. 12 hours in bed! Yikes! But I'm feeling much better today. Ready to stay up until at least 8.