Monday, February 25, 2008

Interviewing—an Emotional Rollercoaster

So, as I mentioned on Friday, I’ve been interviewing people for my previous position (the job I’ve still had to do while also performing my new duties—it’s been stressful, to say the least).

And as I also stated in the post, I HATE interviewing people. Hate it! And I think the whole process has been made worse because of my meditation.

“How?” you ask.

Because the Metta Bhavana is a loving-kindness meditation. It makes you think about people and love them. And it’s a very powerful experience. It’s like really feeling and understanding that quote by C.S. Lewis. You know, the one where he says that if we really saw people as they truly were, we would bow down and worship them.

Well, that’s kind of what the Metta Bhavana does—makes you think of people that way. And it makes you accept them, want the best for them, and overall cheer for them.

And this outlook did not help me during the interview process. You think it would have, but it didn’t. What it did was make me want to give them all a job, feel like crap because I couldn’t give them all a job, and then tear up as they left, knowing I was going to have to crush their hopes.

It was depressing.

Now, of course I know that this isn’t the end of the world for them. And that this job isn’t the best and only one in the universe. And that they’ll be alright.

But, I still feel bad (even though most of them didn’t have the qualifications).

And I’m still not done! I’ve had to narrow down the 10 I interviewed to 3. And now I have to do a second interview process. Ugh.

Let’s all have a collective prayer that I don’t have a breakdown when I look into their eyes and see them dreaming of health insurance and a 401k plan.

Stupid meditation…


Anonymous said...

LOL you musn't abandon the love of it now pumpkin! Not everyone got to be chosen to be Ghandi or Elvis or Jim Henson either... the right person who needs the job will be the one you're inspired to pick. I'm sure that all the other establishments that the other 9 souls go to will be grateful that you didn't pick them!

Sorry for the absence, bad cold doesn't inspire much inspiration either.

Laura said...

Can't you just take a little vacation from the meditation during the interviewing?